作者 主题: 转载reddit—100 Things I learned as the low int low cha female party barbarian  (阅读 5428 次)

副标题: 我作为一个低智力低魅力的女野蛮人时学到的100个事儿

离线 cothurn

  • Guard
  • **
  • 帖子数: 136
  • 苹果币: 0
http://redd.it/3b2are
作者:Meistermalkav

The party are my friends. I am only allowed to hurt them when they hurt me first.

The wizzard is smart. I should ask him first if I do not understand something.

The paladin is crying a lot. Because of things that I do. I must be nice to the paladin.

The gunslinger is scary. He is allowed to be scary, because I am scary to him as well.

The rogue is nice. I must be nice to him because he knows interesting things. If I punch him again he may not be as interesting anymore, even if he deserved it.

The small bird that follows the wizzard is not for eating. The small lizzard was not for eating either, but it's too late for that.

The paladins god is like her ancestor. He watches her everywhere she goes, but I can not see him. That is why she does not like other men watching her too much.

The gunslingers guns have just as much right to be there are as I do, even if they smell strange. I may not wash them in the river without asking.

I must not listen to the rogue when he tries to get me to do something when the others are not there. Not even if I like it.

The tavern is like a meeting tent of the clan. It is ok to bring your weapons, but you are supposed to beat people with your hands in there.

I may wipe my hands on the tavern dog if they get dirty. Wiping them on the tavern girls or boys clothing is out, unless we are in special taverns.

I may not throw things at the tavern girls to get their attention. Not even if I can do it without hurting them.

If the food arrives, I may not eat all of it. I have to leave something for my friends.

I have to use the small weapons that they bring with the food, even if I do not understand their purpose. It is not good to use the small weapons to defend my plate. I may use my hands, but only after asking the Wizard or the paladin.

I must eat some green. I can not only eat meat, and give the greens to the gunslinger. Even if he is an elf.

I may not eat as fast as I can. Even if others look at my food like they want to take it.
There are parts of the food that are not for eating. If I eat the plate, the bowl, or the mug, it hurts.

Just because I can do it does not mean I have to do it. Like eating a banana at once. Or a sausage. I may never Ever. or the Paladins god cries.

Some people will be disgusting because they drink milk. I am not allowed to point it out loudly to them, because I can be just as disgusting to them.

The city and most areas are ruled by a tribe called the Watch. It is like I am visiting a different tribes and step into their settlement. Their settlement their rules.

I may only wear clothes in a city. Even if iI was just swimming, or if it is really hot, or if the breeze is just nice. I may ask the paladin what clothes to wear. If I do not wear clothes, it's indecency, even if there are no children arpound, because children could see it.

I may not take what is not mine, even if I can. Mine is what I have in my backpack, and what was given to me. If I take what is not mine it is theft, and I will have to sleep in a dry cell with some nice straw. I must ask for the things I want to have first.

If someone asks me for my money, I have to listen closely. Either it is someone who wants some money, or someone who wants all my money. If they want all my money, I may beat them a little bit, if I bring the persoto the watch afterwards, and tell the wizzard. if it is a beggar, I can be nice to them. If they say they want to see me naked, I have to see the paladin so she can come and yell at them, and not show them.

The city is not for hunting. Even if there are animals running around freely. The animals may be part of a tribe I do not know.

Cities are not for sleeping in. That is called vagrancy. Special buildings in the city are for sleeping in. They are called taverns.

I may not hit people in the streets, unless they hit me first. Except the watch. They can hit me first.

even if the drunk people do it, I may not do my business on the streets. That is lewd and indecent.

I am allowed to help if I ask first.

Buldings are not for climbing. Even iof they are made from wood, and as big as trees. Even if I can do it. because it is endangerment, and the watch tribe will be angry at me.

City life is bad. I may go out of the city, but I have to return to my party.

If I am invited to temple, I may go there, and sit. If they ask us to siung, I may not sing louder then anybody else, even if I can and know the words.

I am not allowed to get breakfast in the city parks, they are for looking only.

Coins are not complicated. The reddish ones are coppers, the metal ones are silver, the yellow ones gold. I give as many as the thing costs. Only other people are allowed to negotiate.

I may not negotiate with my fists, my greatsword, or with nudeness.

I may not just bring dead animals to people to trade them in,. Not all people know how to make dead animals tasty. Neither am I allowed to offer to beat people for money.

I am required to have a bath once a month. Soap is not dangerous. it changes my skin because my skin is happy to see it. Afterwards, I get sausages. If the party wants to have me have a bath more often, they have to give me sausages.

There are people in the bath whop can help you bath. Some of them make you feel good. If I do not hit the people when they touch me, I get to find out who makes me feel good.

Inside the bath, I am allowed to have no clothes on.

I am not nallowed to go to the mens bath. I have to ask one of the people if I want something from the mens bath, and they bring it.

Previous experiences do not mean that I know. Just because I have done it allways that way does not mean that I am right.

Headbuttin a new horse to show it who the boss is does not allways work to my favor. it is much more enjoyable to have a live horse then a dead one.

When someone wants to have some real handshakes, it does not mean he is from my tribe and has heard from our custom to squeeze hands as hard as we can untill we see red, and then some more. Remember, these people work with their hands for a living, if I crusgh an other hand he can not work anymore.

When I hunt things by climbing up a tree, and then jumping down on something, grappling it, and biting it to death, my teammates may appreciate it when I tell them that I already ate the soft parts of the beast to make it lighter. Citypeople don't.

A tavern brawl does not mean I get to beat people with tavern desks.

When a Dwarf says he wants to speak eye to eye to me, I am not allowed to lift him on the tavern desk, even if I can.

I am not allowed to rip out pieces of park furniture because the chairs at the eatery are too small so sit comfortably. Even if I can, and promise to bring them back.

Even if the Paladins god wants it, I am not allowed to crush parts of statues, even if she orders me to to make her god not cry. Neither am I allowed to keep parts of statues in my pockets for later.

I have to use my indoor voice when in the city. People do not like when someone speaks loud enough to be understood by everybody.

When people say things like "I'd like to see that" or "That sounds unbelievable" or "Never inb a billion years", I am not allowed to prove them wrong with actions, only with words. Even if I could.

Humans in cities are not my family. I may not assume they are my family.

I may not explain my tribal life to anyone. It may be true that in the cold nights, you do not care who goes in the mammoth furs with you, but it makes people nervous and think bad of my tribe.

I may not assume Men are my brothers, even if they say so. Most men are far more squishy then my brothers, and ask for things that they do not want.

Just because I am bigger then most humans, I am not allowed to pick them up like children.

Windows are expensive. I am not allowed to poke them to see if they are there. They break easily. neither am I allowed to climb up and look into windows in the third floor, even if I can and even if I am bored.

Even if I can, if a door is locked, it means I have to get the rogue. I am not allowed to get the door to the rogue either.

I am not allowed to give children parts of my enemies. They may be happy about it, and have a lot less fear, but I am not allowed to.

I may not assume that just because someone lives in the city, they know everyboy in the city.

I may only help people in the city if they ask me to.

Hold the thief does not mean to pick up the running man, smash him against the wall as hard as I can, and then drop him. It means I have to give the running man a big hug, and wait for the watch. If the running person tries to hurt me, I may hug them a bit tighter, but that's it.

There are other Races living in the city. races I have not yet seen. Just as I have not seen them yet, they have not seen me yet. They have just as much right to be there as anybody.

Elves are the pointy ears. I am not allowed to pick up elves and bring them back to nature. even if they say they feel trapped in the city, and want to see the countryside.

Dwarves are small and have beards. I may not take a dwarf that wants to speak eye to eye to me, and lift him on a table. Even if I can. I have to say nice things about his beard.

Orcs have just as much of a right to be in the city as I have. Not all of them know how to fight.
I am not allowed to give elves a big hug when I have not had a bath. They vomit afterwards. They are also squishy.

Tieflings are people that look strange. I may not rub them to see if the skiun color comes off, unless they have said I may.

Halflings look like human children, but fatter. I may not take them and throw them as high as I can, before catching them again. They may not like it.

Gnomes are fun. They make complicated machines. If I see a gnome making the handmotions the wizzard showed to me in my direction, I am allowed to squeeze their hands as much as I can, and then some. The wizzard says they don't mind. They cook the best.

I may not speculate publically about how Aasimars are made. Not even if I know more about animals then the entire city.

I may not take other races that loose in combat to me as a pet. Even if I could.

Conversations inside the city are good. I may not take anything they say to me seriously.

I may not correct bards about how animals multiply, if I think children could be here, or the bard is listening.

I may not Smell people if I think they are lying.

I may bring a gift for the host if I can fit it through the door.

I may not lift a cart and carry it onwards to make room for our cart, even if I can. I have to ask the owner of the cart first.

In situations where we have to run, it is ok to carry smaller people over my shoulders. If I asked them first.

I may not assume plants in a garden are edible. Even if I do not understand, some plants in a garden are just for looking nice.

If someone of a family bites me, it is acceptable to carefully dislodge them from my area, and carry them to the wizzard. It is not acceptable to bite them back.

Most people are joking, unless the wizzard or the paladin says so. Joking is like fighting with words. I may only joke back if they joke about me.

I may not let small children play with my weapons. Not even if they can.

Buying things is complicated, but very simple.

Coins. The yellow one are gold. They are soft. The metal ones are silver. They are a bit softer. the red ones are copper. They look funny.

One of the coins has the king on it. The king is like the leader of the leader of tribes. I may not speculate what he has in his pants, because he already has a queen. I may say he looks nice.

I have to have the coins ready before I buy things. I may not leave them in my room. I may not say that I have them, but then not have them. I may not claim one coin is an other.

I may not show people that I can count. I may show my party members that I can count, one, two, many. I have to stop there, and let them laugh. I may not show anyone that I can count after that. Many one, many two, many many... That way, I can silently count in my head, and see if the people give me too little or too much.

If the people give me too little, I may not take them by the throat, and bring them to the next watch. I may scream for the watch, but I have to say it before.

I should ask the paladin what to wear. She is also a woman. I should wear clothes inside the city.

I may not take off my clothes in stores, where children or men could see me. Even if they ask me to. Because the paladins god said so. I may also not take my clothes off for the paladins god so he sees there is nothing wrong with my body, because it makes the paladin cry, and last time, the priests in the temple started acting strangely. I just have to accept that.

I may test things before I buy them. that does not mean I have to bend swords, even if I have some elves seen do the same. I may not try to rip clothes. I may not try to

If I have decided I want to buy things, the seller will tell me a price. I may not threaten him, or try to make the price less. That gets the tribe of the watch angry. I have to make little towers with the coins, so the seller can see I have the coins. Then, when he says that this is good, I may take what I bought, and he may take the coins, because they are now his, just like the thing I bought is now mine.

sex is natural, and it feels good. Everyone has it. I may have it too, but only with people that want to have it with me as well.

I may have sex with whomever I want to. The paladin says that men should have sex with women, and women should have sex with men, but the wizzard said that this was because she is the wife of her god. I should just leave it with the involved people.

I must be gentle to the people I have sex with, and make them feel good as well. Anything that requires a visit to the healer should only be done with a warning.

I may not ask if people want to have sex with me, when other people are around, because I do not know how to ask. The wizzard does, and has offered to ask for me.

I may have more sex and more people that are willing to have sex with me if I wash myself more often.

I may not mention how I know so much about how animals reproduce. This is talk for outside the city. Inside the city, I may only say, I work with animals.

I may not offer to show if I am built to scale. Ever.

I may get invited to special places, like operas or temples. If they sing a song, I should ask before I sing along, even if I know all the words, and can sing louder then their singers.

I may not stand up when people make theatre and tell them I saw exactly who did it. It is make belief.

Flowers are only for eating later in my room. Untill then, they are for smelling nice, and for people that do not know how to ask for having sex the right way.

I may only remoive parts from peoples bodies that I do know how to put back in afterwards. If I am unsure, I just shouldn't.
求点击

离线 杀菌@深坑未填

  • 人型谷歌翻译润色机
  • Hero
  • ****
  • 帖子数: 670
  • 苹果币: 3
  • _(:з」∠)_
求翻译啊( :em032 :em032 :em032 :em032 :em032

离线 艾思哲

  • AD&D 2e 翻译组
  • 根源索寻者
  • *****
  • 帖子数: 1883
  • 苹果币: 2
制杖扮演法啊……
me sooooo weeeeeeeeaak

离线 msangued

  • ... meow?
  • Guard
  • **
  • 帖子数: 153
  • 苹果币: 0
好长…没读完 :em006 (先Mark下
好聰明的喵喵一族 好優美的喵喵話

离线 弑君者伊恩

  • 但他举起了投枪!
  • Diver
  • ******
  • 帖子数: 2664
  • 苹果币: 0
    • 炸裂大坑
队伍里的是俺朋友。除非他们先伤了俺,不然俺不能伤他们。

法师聪明。俺有不懂的要先问他。

帕帕丁老爱哭。因为俺做的事哭。俺得对帕帕丁好。

枪手样子凶。枪手可以样子凶,因为枪手看俺样子也凶。

肉鸽好。俺得对他好,因为他知道好玩的事。俺要是再打他,他就再也不会那么好玩了,哪怕俺真的该打他。

跟着法师的小鸟不能吃。小蜥蜴也不能吃,但是俺知道的太晚了。

帕帕丁的神有点像她老祖宗。不管她跑哪儿,他都在看她,但是俺看不到他。所以她不喜欢其他人老看她。

枪手的枪可以和俺平起平坐,虽然它们闻着怪怪的。俺不能不问就把枪拿到河里洗。

要是肉鸽在别人都不在的时候叫俺做啥,俺不能听他的。就算叫俺做喜欢的事也不行。

酒馆有点像部落集会的帐篷。在酒馆里可以带武器,但打人只能用手。

俺手脏了可以在酒馆的狗上擦手。在酒馆招待的衣服上擦手不好,除非俺们不在一般的酒馆里。

俺不能对酒馆女招待丢东西来吸引她们的注意力。就算俺不会伤害她们也不行。

吃的上桌以后,俺不能全吃。俺得给朋友们留一点。

虽然俺不懂为啥,但是俺得用和食物一起上桌的小刀刀。用小刀刀保护俺的盘子不好。俺能用手吃,但是要先问法师或者帕帕丁。

俺得吃绿菜。俺不能只吃肉然后把绿菜给枪手。就算枪手是精灵也不行。

俺不能吃太快。就算别人盯着俺的盘子、看起来要抢俺的吃的也不行。

吃的里面的有的东西不能吃。如果俺吃了盘子、碗啥的,会疼。

俺能做到的事不等于俺必须做的事。比如一口一个香蕉。一口一个香肠。俺都不能做。也不能弄哭帕帕丁神。

吃牛奶的人恶心。俺不能大声这么说,因为他们可能会觉得俺恶心。

城里和大多数的地方都归一个叫“卫兵”的部落管。*这句不太懂*。谁的地盘谁做主。

——未完不续——
劇透 -  人物卡速查:

「追寻者」玉分 秋   
Tamawake Aki

12级居合巫女
  

贝诺瓦·杜加德  
Benoît Dugarde

8级魔法骑士
  

朱利安·莫雷诺   
Julien Moreno

8级雾贼
  

斯卡莱特船长  
Captain Scarlet

7级鹦鹉船长
  
艾吉斯·盾卫
Agis Thandîr

2级精灵盾爵
  

卡兰妮娅·艾佛隆  
Khalania Everlone

1级禁卫骑士
  

吉拉尼·阿尔·赛巴赫 
Jirani Al Sebbah

2级巫术傀儡师
  

安妮希娅·杜瓦尔   
Annisia Duval

4级男孩子(停用)
  

楚高栖   
Tchu Highroost

(阵亡)
  

离线 Sheepy

  • 純良的白色生物
  • 風紀委
  • ************
  • 帖子数: 14125
  • 苹果币: 2
到後面很多重覆的...
(10:23:05 PM) 欧剃: 咩的笑话一般不仅冷,而且是黑漆漆的阴冷?
(10:23:11 PM) 布布: 这只是,对别人来说是掉SAN值的腹黑,对咩来说仅仅是笑话而已
(10:23:45 PM) ***Sheepy 聳肩, 一笑置之
(10:24:17 PM) ***布布 死了
  D&D 4e 歿土英豪 頭兩章試譯

离线 Eater

  • 极饿势力ψ(`∇´)ψ
  • Chivary
  • *****
  • 帖子数: 1354
  • 苹果币: 0
闲着没事就翻了 :em032个人渣翻,欢迎指正


在城里俺要穿衣服,就算俺在游水、天热或者风真的好。俺要问啪啪丁穿什么衣服。如果俺不穿衣服,就很下流,周围没有熊孩子也不行,因为熊孩子可能瞅着俺。


俺不能拿走不是俺的东西,就算俺能这么做也不行。俺的东西是俺包包里的东西,还有给俺的东西。如果俺拿走了不是俺的东西就是贼,俺就要和好稻草睡在一个干干的小牢房里。想要的东西俺要先讨一下。


如果有谁问俺讨俺的钱,俺要靠近点听。不管那家伙是想要俺的一些钱,还是俺的全部钱。如果他们要俺的全部钱,俺可以稍微揍他们一顿,然后带他们去找守卫,还要告诉法师。要是是个乞丐,俺可以对他们好。如果他们说想看俺光着,俺必须瞅瞅啪啪丁,这样她就可以过来吼他们,不给他们看


城里不能打猎,就算里面有各种动物到处乱跑也不行。这些动物是一个俺不知道的部族的成员。


不能像流浪汉一样直接睡在城里。城里有专门睡觉的地方,叫酒馆。


俺不能在街上打人,除非他们先打俺。除了守卫。他们可以先打俺。


就算有醉鬼这么做,俺也不能在大街上解决生理问题。这样猥琐,还下流。


如果俺先问了,俺就可以去帮忙。


不能爬房子上去,就算它们是木头做的还像树一样大。就算俺可以这么做也不行,因为这样不好,守卫队的人会冲俺发火。


城市生活不好。俺要出城,但是俺要回俺队里去。


要是俺被请到神殿去,俺要过去然后坐下。如果他们要俺唱歌,俺不能唱得比谁都大声,就算俺能唱那么大声而且知道歌词是什么也不行。


俺不能在城里的公园找早点吃,它们只能看。


硬币不麻烦。有点红的是铜的,金属的是银的,黄的是金的。俺要按东西价格给钱。其他人才能讨价还价。


俺不能用俺的拳头,俺的巨剑或者俺的裸体去谈判


俺不能拿死动物去和别人买东西。不是所有人都知道怎么把它们搞好次。俺也不能靠打人要钱。


俺一个月要洗一次澡。肥皂不危险,它改变俺的皮肤,因为俺的皮肤乐意见它。之后,俺能拿到香肠。要是队友想要俺经常洗澡,他们要给俺香肠。


澡堂里面有人能帮你洗澡,里面的一些人能让你感觉舒服。要是在他们碰俺时候俺没有打这些人,俺就能找到谁让俺舒服。


洗澡的时候俺可以不穿衣服。


俺不能去男澡堂。要是俺想要男澡堂里面的什么东西,俺要从里面找个人,叫他帮俺拿出来。


以前的经验不意味着俺懂了,因为俺总这样做这事不意味俺就是对的。


俺不是总喜欢拿头去撞一匹新马告诉它谁是老大,有匹活马总比有匹死的要好。


要是有人想要真正的握手,这不是说他从俺的部族来,或者听说过俺们的规矩是狠狠捏手直到见血,还不止这些。俺要记住这些家伙靠双手工作谋生,要是俺捏碎了一只手他们就不能像以前那样工作了。


当俺爬到树上去抓什么东西,之后跳到什么别的上面,抓住它然后咬死它。俺告诉队友俺已经吃掉野兽最柔软的部分帮它减重的时候,俺的队友会欣赏它,城里人不会。


就算在酒馆吵架,俺也不能打翻酒馆桌子上的家伙。


要是有个矮人说他想和俺四目相对的说话,俺不能把他举到酒馆桌子上,就算俺能这么做也不行。


俺不能因为小饭馆的小椅子坐着舒服就随便扯掉公园设施的一部分,就算俺能这么做而且保证了要把它们归位也不行。


就算啪啪丁的神想要,俺也不能打碎雕像的一部分,就算她命令俺去让她的神别哭了。俺也不能把雕像放在俺的口袋里。


俺在城里必须用俺在屋子里的声音。人们不喜欢有谁说话声大得足够让所有人听懂。


当有谁说“眼见为实”“那听起来难以置信”或者“十亿年内闻所未闻”的时候,俺不能用行动去证明他们是错的,俺只能用话去。就算俺能也不行。


城里人不是俺家里人,俺不觉得他们是俺家里人


俺不能给谁说俺的部族生活。在寒夜里不在意旁边的家伙一身猛犸毛皮大概是对的,但是那会搞得别人紧张,还会觉得俺的部族不怎么样。


俺不能觉得汉子都是俺的兄弟,就算他们这么说也不行。大多数汉子都比俺的兄弟要黏糊得多,还问俺讨他们不需要的东西。


就算俺比大多数人块头都大,俺也不能把他们像拿熊孩子一样拿起来。


窗子贵,俺不能戳它们去看它们还在不在那儿。它们容易坏,俺不能爬上去看三楼的窗户,就算俺能这么做而且俺很无聊也不行。


要是有个门锁着,那大概是叫俺去找肉鸽,但是俺不能去找肉鸽,就算俺能也不行。


俺不能把俺敌人的一部分给熊孩子,就算他们可能会因为这个高兴而且不怎么害怕也不能这么做。


俺不觉得就因为有些人住在城里,他们就知道城里的所有人。


如果有人叫俺帮忙,俺只能帮城里人。


抓小偷不是叫俺冲过去抓住逃跑的家伙然后用全身的力气把他丢到墙上砸碎。俺该冲过去给他个大大的抱抱然后等守卫来,要是这家伙想要伤俺,俺可以稍微抱的紧一点,但仅此而已。


城里也住着其他种族的家伙,俺没见过的种族,俺没见过他们,他们也没见过俺。他们像其他家伙一样有权利在这里。


精灵是尖耳朵,俺不能拿着精灵把他们放归自然。就算他们说感觉自己被陷在城里,想要看看农村。


矮人小,长胡子。俺不能在一个矮人说想和俺四目相对说话的时候,把他举到酒馆桌子上,就算俺能这么做也不行。俺要说些他们胡子的好话。(重复了!!!)


兽人和俺一样有权利待在城里。但是他们里面不是所有人都知道怎么打架。


俺不能在没洗澡的时候给精灵一个大大的抱抱,之后他们会吐,还会黏糊糊的。


提夫林看起来很奇怪,俺不能擦他们看他们的皮肤会不会脱色,除非他们叫俺这么做。


半身人看起来像人类熊孩子,但是要胖一点。俺不能把他们抓起来尽可能往高里丢,在俺再次抓住他们之前,他们大概就会不喜欢这样。


侏儒好玩,他们会造复杂的机器。要是俺看见有个侏儒朝俺的方向搞那些法师给俺看过的手势,俺可以尽俺所能的捏他们的手,还不止这些。法师说他们不会介意。他们做饭最好。


俺不该在公共场合猜阿斯莫怎么来的。就算对于动物俺知道的比全城更多也不行。


俺不能带走战败的其他种族的家伙当宠物,就算俺能也不行。


城里说话好,俺不能把他们说的任何玩意当真。


要是俺觉得有熊孩子在附近或者诗人在听的话,俺不能纠正诗人对于动物繁殖方式的说法


要是俺觉得谁死了,俺不能闻他们。


俺可以给主人带礼物,要是俺能让它能够进门的话。


俺不能把马车举起来然后把它搁前面去给俺们的马车腾个地儿,就算俺能这么做也不行。俺该先问马车的主人。


要是撞见要俺们跑路的情况,俺可以把小家伙搁在俺肩膀上。但是俺要先问他们。


俺不能以为花园里的花花草草都能次。就算俺不懂也不行,花园里的花花草草有些只是为了看起来好。


要是哪个家族里的家伙咬俺,俺可以小心的把他们赶到俺的地盘外面去,之后带他们去找法师。俺不能咬回来。


很多人都只是在开玩笑,除非法师或者啪啪丁这么说。开玩笑就像用字打架,别人开俺玩笑的时候俺只能用玩笑回。


俺不能叫小熊孩子和俺的武器耍,就算他们能也不行。


买东西难,但是特别简单。


硬币,黄的是金的,它们软。金属的是银的,它们更软一点。红的是铜的。他们看起来好玩。


有个硬币上有个国王。国王像是部族首领的首领。俺不能猜他裤裆里有什么,因为他有王后了。俺只能说他看起来好。


俺买东西之前要先准备好硬币,俺不能把它们落在俺的房间里。俺不能在没它们的时候说俺有它们,俺不能说一个硬币是另一个。


俺不能给人说俺会数数。你看俺可以数俺队里的人,一个,两个,很多个。俺要在这停下来让他们笑。除此之外俺不能给其他人表演俺会数数。很多个一个,很多个两个,很多个很多个……这样,俺就可以静静在俺脑子里数数,然后看人给俺太少还是太多。


要是谁给俺太少。俺不能一边冲他们大吼大叫一边带他们去找最近的守卫。俺可以冲着守卫尖叫,但是俺叫之前要先说。


俺该问啪啪丁穿什么。她和俺一样是个妹子。俺在城里要穿衣服。


俺不能在商店里面脱俺的衣服,会被汉子或者熊孩子看到。就算他们叫俺这么做也不行。因为啪啪丁的神这么说。俺也不能脱衣服给啪啪丁的神看,用来证明俺的身子没问题,因为这会叫啪啪丁哭。最后,要是神殿的祭祀开始做奇怪的动作,俺不能拒绝。


俺该在买东西之前写个单子,这不是叫俺把剑搞弯,就算俺看到一些精灵这么做也不行。俺不能试着去扯坏衣服,就算俺能也不行。


要是俺想好了要去买啥,卖东西的会给俺报价。俺不能威胁他或者想要砍价。这样会搞得部族里的守卫不高兴。俺要拿硬币堆个小塔塔,这样卖东西的就知道俺有硬币。之后要是他说够了,俺就能拿走俺买的东西,之后他能拿走硬币,因为那已经归他了,就像俺买的东西现在归俺了一样。


啪啪啪很自然,而且舒服。谁都可以做,就算俺也一样可以做,但是只能和愿意和俺啪啪啪的人做。


俺可以和俺想啪啪啪的家伙啪啪啪,啪啪丁说汉子要和妹子啪啪啪,妹子要和汉子啪啪啪,但是法师说那是因为啪啪丁是她神的老婆。俺要离这些被卷进去的人远一点。


俺要对和俺啪啪啪的人好,也要让他们也像俺一样爽。任何导致该去找医师的事都是个警告。


俺不能在有别人在附近的时候问人想不想和俺啪啪啪,因为俺不知道该怎么问。法师知道,他会帮俺问。


要是俺常洗澡,俺就能啪啪啪更多,也有更多人想和俺啪啪啪了。


俺不能在城里说俺知道很多动物啪啪的事。这些只能在城外说。在城里,俺只能说,俺和动物办事。


俺不能去爬房子,永远不能


要是俺被请去什么特别的地方,像是歌剧院什么的。要是他们唱歌,就算俺知道所有歌词还比他们的歌手唱得大声,俺也要在独唱之前先问问。


俺不能在别人演戏的时候站起来告诉他们俺看到是谁干的。这是信念。


花花在俺的屋子里只是等会拿来吃的。在那之前,它们闻起来好,也是人不知道怎么去讨啪啪啪的时候的好办法


俺不能把别人身上的一部分拆下来,就算俺知道怎么放回原位也不行。要是俺不确定,俺就不能这么做。
« 上次编辑: 2015-08-18, 周二 17:22:23 由 Eater »
肉食动物(○` 3′○)و✧    灵魂画师(๑•̀ㅂ•́๑)و✧

离线 无名的巫妖

  • 人菜话不多
  • Guard
  • **
  • 帖子数: 100
  • 苹果币: 0
  • 人菜话不多
    • lofter
哈哈,很有意思,感谢搬运和翻译
没有退路了,这一生不会有,下一世亦不会有……

模组翻译存档:https://pan.baidu.com/s/1jIj556u

离线 游侠sid

  • Knight
  • ***
  • 帖子数: 305
  • 苹果币: 0
喷了 感觉是个兽人