最终,道路开阔起来,眼前是一片美丽葱茏的山谷,就是我先前说的那种故事里你能发现双头食人魔(two-headed ogres)在奴役独角兽(unicorn)和漂亮女孩儿的那种地方。
不,那片山谷里当然没有那种东西。它就是一片山谷,虽然是很美的那种。它的形状有点像个碗,从通往道路的入口我们可以看见一片波光粼粼的澄净湖泊,旁边有座小小的建筑。有条破损的、杂草丛生的道路通往建筑,一条与湖水同样闪亮的河流在许多常青树之间蜿蜒着。
我自豪地宣称这就是治愈之河和治愈之湖。莱菔问这座建筑是什么,在我寻思出答案之前他自告奋勇地提供了一个:“是座米莎凯神殿吗?”
我迅速同意他的意见,并从它破败的外观幸运地猜到了它是座废弃的神殿。我告诉他长枪战争后牧师们在这儿定居,但此后黑暗骑士们把他们也杀了。这激起了他对黑暗骑士新一轮的咒骂和谴责——莱菔大概是我遇到过的人当中最容易操纵的家伙,我开始怀疑自己是不是应该加入他和他朋友的行列一块儿旅行。依靠他们生活无疑十分轻松。
不过我马上就记起了自己是在和精灵们打交道。我必须在他们让我在科瓦尔到嘴的鸭子飞掉之前摆脱他们。因此,我提醒莱菔,还有他那不幸的哥们儿呢。
我们牵着狮鹫走下湖岸。在这儿,我们给吉尔赛那斯松了绑,开始脱他的衣服。这时候,他又开始嘀咕西悠瓦拉的名字。喂,这不好笑啦。不过我可以告诉你,在那以后我就让莱菔自己给他脱了。
无论怎样,他总算被扒了个精光,我们牵着他走到湖边。莱菔问我我们接下来该做什么。我耸耸肩,把吉尔赛那斯推下水。莱菔指名道姓地咒骂我,紧跟着他的朋友跳下水去。片刻之后两人都浮出了水面——我不清楚你能不能想像,不过精灵在湿的时候看上去比他们原本还要瘦。还有,听到莱菔满嘴的脏话,我觉得他们也变得好像掉进水里的猫一样生气。
不过,吉尔赛那斯看上去还好。只有那么一瞬间还好。然后他一边对莱菔大打出手,一边喊着“丑恶的孔纳!你别想再拘禁我!在我就快要找到我心爱的西悠瓦拉的时候,别想!”
我低声咒骂着,涉水下湖。吉尔赛那斯仍然尖声嚷嚷着关于孔纳和西悠瓦拉的事,正打算把被打晕的莱菔淹死在水里。我抓住他的肩膀,他转向我。“坦尼斯!”他发现了我,开始对我咆哮,“坦尼斯,你夺走了我妹妹的贞操,你要付出代价的!”然后他掐住我的喉咙,把我推下水底。
我不知道坦尼斯这家伙是谁,但我为他祈祷永远不要和吉尔赛那斯狭路相逢。我不认为他能活着离开。要不是莱菔相救,吉尔赛那斯早已杀了我。莱菔一拳砸在吉尔赛那斯头上,把我们俩一块儿从水里拖了起来。
“为什么不起效?”他质问道,我正忙着咳出肺部的水。我指出原因之一或许是因为这片地方叫“治愈之河”。然后我发现我的这句挖苦似乎已经戳穿了自己的谎言,我赶紧补充说:“喝这口湖里的水治小病,但可能只有河水本身能治疗严重的状况。”
莱菔看上去既怀疑又不信任,但他还是拎起失去意识的吉尔赛那斯,把他丢在一只狮鹫背上。然后他骑着那只狮鹫横穿湖面。我看着他把吉尔赛那斯浸在河里。那个疯精灵苏醒过来开始挣扎。可是莱菔把他按到水下,让他在那儿泡了一阵子。然后他把吉尔赛那斯拖出来,扔到岸上。他在另一个精灵身边站了一会儿,吉尔赛那斯踉踉跄跄地站了起来。他们彼此面对面站着,似乎过了极其漫长的一段时间,然后他们抱在一起。它生效了。这条河治愈了吉尔赛那斯的疯狂。这是个皆大欢喜的结局——除了我以外。
嗯,我猜它本可能是个皆大欢喜的结局,要不是吉尔赛那斯偏偏是这么个该死的“不夺人之美”的荣誉狂的话。他首先再三地为攻击我道歉,解释说他记得自己把我错认成了坦尼斯,他妹妹罗拉娜死去的丈夫。
真的吗?那个坦尼斯。哎呦。我不知道黄金将军嫁给了他啊。不过,这么一说就连起来了。那我就理解为什么吉尔赛那斯会被激怒了。说到底,他不希望人类的血脉污染了他珍贵的精灵血统,对吧?
无论怎样,那天晚上我们借宿在米莎凯神殿的废墟里——顺便一提,那真是个好地方。那儿有许多幅裸体女性在湖中洗澡的图画。吉尔赛那斯认为那是女神米莎凯的画像。那儿还有两尊她的雕像。塞林,我跟你说啊,要是我决定开始定期礼拜某个神,或成为哪个神的信徒,我想我一定会选米莎凯。在我礼拜得无聊起来的时候,只要往后一靠,欣赏这些场景就好了。
好吧。你说得对。这是对女神的不敬。我道歉。我又跑题了。
正如我所说的,在废墟中度过一夜之后,我们启程返回科瓦尔。我试着说服吉尔赛那斯和莱菔我一个人回去就好。我跟他们说,等我回去,我会组织一批小伙子来这儿重修神殿,把它变成需要治愈之水的病人们的庇护所。我觉得我本可以说服莱菔离开的,但是该死的吉尔赛那斯要回科瓦尔感谢那儿的人民他们的善良。哪里善良了?他们做的只不过是指着我说“他会带你们去你们想去的地方”好吗!
可是,他是精灵王子嘛,他想干啥就干啥。我们牵着狮鹫原路返回——尽管在关于鬼魂来龙去脉的问题上吉尔赛那斯不像莱菔那么好骗,但我还是做到了——最终抵达了科瓦尔。那群社会良心用先前承诺的盛宴招待了吉尔赛那斯。他们赞美我是他们村镇有史以来出现的最伟大的存在。他们把自己的女儿献给了莱菔。不,不是真的,后边那句我开玩笑的。不过他们的确做得有点过火。可是,假如莱菔和吉尔赛那斯只是吃完他们的猪肉上路走人,那么对我和对他们来说这仍然都还算是好聚好散。可是你见过有哪个精灵会在他有机会站在一伙观众面前博取他们青睐的时候闭嘴吗?没有吧,当然没有。我也没见过。我跟你说啊,吉尔赛那斯表现得就像个典型的精灵。
在宴会上,那位卡拉曼与奎灵纳斯提的伟大的什么什么王站起身来向我敬酒并演说祝酒词。他告诉他们我打算重建山谷中米莎凯神殿的愿望是多么迫切,并敦促他们所有人尽快搬去那片土地肥沃,还有能令他们永葆健康的神奇水源的地方。“你们可以创造一片宁静、喜乐、健康的港湾……而这一切都要感谢索兰萨斯(Solanthus)的威兰!”
第二天早晨,两位精灵离开了。在那周结束之前,科瓦尔的一批年轻人一直在准备探索通往治愈之河的道路。在吉尔赛那斯小小的动员演说和大肆解说我发现鬼魂毫无威胁的经过之后,他们再也不害怕了。吉尔赛那斯那个家伙。他的口才或许能把沙子卖给瑞尔苟斯(Relgoth)人。月底之前,那群年轻人回来了,他们决定搬去山谷。大家都十分兴奋,因为我就要带领他们去那片不可思议的新土地,远离疾病、山贼,以及可能的恶劣天气了。
第二天夜里,我收拾好东西离开了小镇。为什么?你怎么会问为什么?我不喜欢村民们对我摇尾奉承,除非有利可图。帮着他们搬迁这该死的村镇一定是件辛苦的工作,做个真正的精神领袖也比假装自己是个精神领袖要难得多。领袖这种事是吉尔赛那斯和黑暗骑士那种爱叨叨个没完的人干的。我呢,我只想要人们的钱。一旦吉尔赛那斯告诉科瓦尔的人们治愈之河是个安全的地方,我也就赚不到什么钱了。那儿也不会再有免费的午餐,因为他们从此对我寄予了期望。期望某些真实的东西。该死的精灵们。就像我说过的,他们毁掉了我的每一件好事——
不,别和我来这套。吉尔赛那斯和莱菔可不是给了我什么做好事的机会。他们毁了我的机遇……喂,那事真他娘的奇怪。瞧那边,那个精灵女人,之前拿着把小刀威胁矮冬瓜(Stumpy)的……那个和罗兰纳斯爵士(Sir Lorannus)一块儿上楼去的不就是她吗?精灵们都是疯子。她拒绝了一个矮冬瓜那么完美的好人,可是却完全愿意和罗兰纳斯那个殷勤的傻瓜睡一张床。
该死的黑暗骑士。要是你问我,我会说他们简直就跟精灵们一样坏。他们正好是般配的一对儿。
哦,谈到黑暗骑士和正好般配,我来这儿可不是为了拿精灵们的故事烦你的。我是来招募你参加我最新的计划的。你觉得这玩意儿怎么样:史东·布莱特布雷德的长剑碎片?我刚找到个买家来着。
劇透 - :
Eventually, the pass opened up into a beautiful lush valley, the kind of place where in those stories I
mentioned before you'll find two-headed ogres enslaving unicorns and fair maidens.
No, of course there was nothing like that in the valley. It was just a valley, although a beautiful one. It was
shaped a bit like a bowl and from the mouth of the pass we could see a lake of sparkling clear water with a
small building by its side. A broken and overgrown road led to the building, and a river that glittered like the
lake snaked its way out of view among some evergreens.
I proudly pronounced that this was the River and the Lake of Healing. Left asked what the building was, and
as I fumbled for an answer he volunteered one. "Is it a temple of Mishakal?"
I quickly agreed with him and made a lucky guess that it was abandoned based on its run-down
appearance. I told him that priests had settled here after the War of the Lance but that the Dark Knights had
killed them too. That triggered another round of cursing and condemning of Dark Knights— Left was about the
easiest guy to manipulate that I've ever come across and I was starting to wonder if I should just go ahead and
join him and his friend. Living off them would no doubt be easy.
But then I remembered that these were elves I was dealing with. I just had to get rid of them before they
ruined my sure thing in Korval. So, I reminded Left of his unfortunate buddy.
We walked the griffins down the shore of the lake. Here, we untied Gilthanas and started to undress him. At
that point, he started muttering about Silvara again. Hey, that isn't funny. But I can tell you that I let Left deal
with undressing him after that.
At any rate, he got stripped and we walked him to the shore of the lake. Left asked me what we were to do.
I shrugged and pushed Gilthanas in. Left cursed my name and jumped into the water after his friend. They both
emerged moments later—I don't know if you can picture it, but elves look even skinnier when they're wet. And,
based on Left's foul mouth, I think they get about as angry as a cat in water as well.
Gilthanas seemed okay, though. For a split second. Then he slugged Left, shouting, "Foul Konnal! You will
not imprison me again! Not when I am this close to finding my beloved Silvara!"
Cursing under my breath, I waded into the lake. Gilthanas was trying to drown the stunned Left, still
screaming about Konnal and Silvara. I grabbed hold of his shoulder and he whirled on me. "Tanis!," he
bellowed when he spotted me. "Tanis, you will pay for robbing my sister of her virtue!" And then he grabbed me
by the throat and thrust me under the water.
I have no idea who this Tanis guy is, but I hope for his sake that he never crosses paths with Gilthanas. I
don't think he'd walk away from it. Gilthanas would have killed me if not for Left. Left hit Gilthanas upside the
head and dragged both of us from the water.
"Why didn't it work?" he demanded as I tried to cough the water out of my lungs. I suggested that maybe
there's a reason it's called the "River of Healing." Then I realized that my sarcasm might have tipped my con
and I quickly added: "Drinking the water of the lake works for minor ailments, but perhaps only the river itself
can cure serious conditions."
Left looked doubtful and distrustful, but he still grabbed the unconscious Gilthanas and tossed him over the
back of one of the griffins. He then rode the beast across the lake. I watched as he submerged Gilthanas in the
river. The crazy elf regained consciousness and struggled. But Left forced him under the water and held him
there for several moments. Then he dragged Gilthanas out and threw him on the shore. He stood over the
other elf for a moment, and then Gilthanas stumbled to his feet. They stood across fromeach other for what
seemed like a very long time, and then they embraced. It had worked. The river had cured Gilthanas of his
madness. It was a happy ending for everyone but me.
Well, I guess it might have been if Gilthanas hadn't turned out to be such a damn "credit where credit is due"
honor freak. First he apologized profusely for attacking me, explaining that he remembered mistaking me for
Tanis, his sister Laurana's dead husband.
Really? That Tanis. Huh. I didn't know the Golden General was married to him. That does make sense,
though. And I can understand why Gilthanas would be ticked. After all, he wouldn't want human blood
contaminating his precious elven bloodline, now would he?
At any rate, we spent the night in the ruins of the Temple of Mishakal—which was quite the place, by the
way. There were images of a naked woman bathing in the lake. Gilthanas thought that it was an image of the
goddess Mishakal. There were a couple of statues of her in there as well. Selin, let me tell you, if I were to start
attending service on a regular basis or worship someone, I think it would have to be Mishakal. If the service
gets boring, I'd just sit back and enjoy the scenery.
Okay. You're right. That's being disrespectful to the goddess. I apologize. And I got myself sidetracked
again.
As I was saying, after spending the night in the ruins, we headed back to Korval. I tried convincing
Gilthanas and Left that I would make it back just fine on my own. And once I got there, I told them, I'd round up
a bunch of the young men and we'd come up here and repair the temple and use it as a shelter for the sick who
need the healing waters. I think I could have convinced Left to go, but damned Gilthanas wanted to travel to
Korval and thank the people there for their kindness. What kindness? All they did was point their fingers at me
and say, "He'll take ya to where you want to go!"
But, being that he was the elf prince, he got his way. We walked the griffins back through the
pass—Gilthanas was a lot harder to bamboozle as far as the ghosts go than Left was but I nonetheless did
it—and we eventually reached Korval. The Salt of the Earth gave Gilthanas his promised feast. They hailed me
as the greatest thing to happen to their village since they discovered fire. They offered Left their daughters. No,
not really. I'm kidding about that last part. But they did go way over the top. Still, if Left and Gilthanas had just
eaten their pork and been on their way, it might still have been a happy parting for me as well as them. But
have you ever known an elf to keep his mouth shut where there's a chance to get in front of an audience and
impress them? No, of course not. And neither have I. And let me tell you, Gilthanas behaved true to type.
During the feast, the Lord-Grandwhathaveyou of Kalaman and Qualinesti got up and gave a toast and a
speech in my honor. He told them all about how I intended to reopen the Temple of Mishakal in the valley and
started urging all of them to relocate up there where the ground was fertile and the magical waters would keep
them healthy. "You can create an island of tranquility, joy, and health . . . and you have Wylan of Solanthus to
thank for it!"
The next morning the elves left. By the end of the week, some of the younger people of Korval were
preparing for a mission to explore the pass to the River of Healing. After Gilthanas's little pep talk and grand
explanation of how I'd discovered the ghosts were no threat, they were no longer afraid. That Gilthanas. He
could probably sell sand to the people of Relgoth. By the end of the month, the young folk had come back and
they decided that moving to the valley was the thing to do. Everyone was so excited that I was going to lead
them to this wonderful new place, away from illness, bandits, and probably even bad weather.
The following night, I gathered my belongings and left town. Why? What do you mean why? I'm not
interested in having villagers fawn over me unless there's a take to be had. Hlping them move their damn
town would have been hard work, and being a real spiritual leader is a lot harder than just pretending to be one.
Leadership is for blabbermouths like Gilthanas and Dark Knights. Me, I just want people's money. Once
Gilthanas told the people of Korval that the River of Healing was safe, there was no money to be had. There
weren't even any free meals, because they were going to expect something of me. Something real. Damn
elves. Like I said, they've ruined every good thing I've ever—
No, don't you give me that. Gilthanas and Left didn't leave me the opportunity to do good. They fouled an
opportunity to ... hey, isn't that just the strangest damn thing. Look at that. That elf woman, the one who
threatened Stumpy with a knife ... isn't that her? Heading up the stairs with Sir Lorannus? Elves are crazy.
She'll turn down a perfectly good guy like Stumpy, but is perfectly willing to share her bed with an officious
ninny like Lorannus.
Damn Dark Knights. They're almost as bad as elves if you ask me. They deserve each other.
Oh, speaking of Dark Knights and deserving each other, I didn't come here to bore you with stories about
elves. I came to recruit you for my latest scam. How does this grab you: Fragments of Sturm Brightblade's
sword. I have just the buyer lined up.